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Brain, mouth co-ordination

S

sandar

Guest
How many of us have made a mess of trying to say something? Your brain knows what it wants you to say, but your mouth lets you down.

Reading Obio's story of bad mouthing his sister when they were kids reminded me of a few of my Faux pas (what's the plural?) Three stick in my mind.

The first occurred when I was an impressionable young teenager.
Shortly before Christmas I went into a shop to do some Christmas shopping. I had selected my purchases , but wanted some wrapping paper and couldn't find what I was looking for. I spotted a young girl who worked in the shop at weekends, so went over to ask where I might find the wrapping paper.

Except it didn't quite come out quite as I planned. The whole male population of the school had the hots for this particular girl, me included. I got tongue tied, instead of asking, " where is the Christmas Wrapping paper?" I asked, "where is the crapping paper?"

Red face, followed by rapid exit.


The second occurred when I was working in Germany. I had only been in the country a few weeks and hadn't learnt much of the language.

I had been invited by one of my new friends to go shooting at the village gun club. The range was in an old, disused stone quarry in the middle of a small forest.

The wife of the manager asked me where I was going, remember, my vocabulary was very limited. I did not know the words for "gun club", "quarry" or "shooting range". I did however know the right words for shooting, forest etc, but instead of saying "I am going shooting in the woods", I said, " I am going for a sh1t in the woods"
I never did live that one down

The last one was at a house warming party about 15 years ago at my sister in law's new house. They had two young children and another on the way. As is usual with these types of get together, people congregated in different rooms. I was in the living room talking to some people who included my parents in law. I explained that my sister in law intended to convert the huge kitchen into a kitchen/dining room and use the dining room as a play room for the kids and that living room would be a living room.
What I actually said and I blame the beer and wine, was, "They are going to use the dining room as a nursery and the living room as an adultery".
Stony silence followed, then laughter as they realised my mistake.


Any of you made similar goofs that you are prepared to admit to and share?
 
Ohhhh yeah !

When I moved to Mexico in 1995, I spoke some Spanish but by far was not fluent yet. I was in a pharmacy looking to buy a few things for my bathroom in the apartment I had just rented. I was looking for one of those barber combs (you know, narrower at one end) and approached a girl at a counter.

Well, the Spanish word for comb is "peine" (pronounced; pay-e-nay) and I confidently stated; "Necesito una peine largo y negro" (trans; "I need a long, black comb").

The shocked look on the girl's face immediately told me I was in trouble.

Without missing a beat, she said to me; "Yo tambien Senor, pero no las tenemos aqui" ( trans; "me too, sir, but we don't have those here")

The problem was with my Yankee pronunciation - what I said was "pene" (pennie). . . which is the word for penis. . .

Skulking out the door to the sounds of raucous laughter - I renewed my focus on proper pronunciation, not just vocabulary !!

:running:
 
I noticed a distinct correlation between alcohol, my brain and mouth coordination. After years of research where I personally did the experiments, I found that lessening the amount or proof of the alcohol contributed to better brain-mouth coordination.

Hummmm, it just occurred to me. I wonder if I could have gotten a government grant to conduct the experiments? Drats!
 
jmig said:
I noticed a distinct correlation between alcohol, my brain and mouth coordination. After years of research where I personally did the experiments, I found that lessening the amount or proof of the alcohol contributed to better brain-mouth coordination.

Hummmm, it just occurred to me. I wonder if I could have gotten a government grant to conduct the experiments? Drats!
Click to expand...



You can if at the end of your project description you add, "and it's effects on global climate change".

:icon_lol:
 
Pretty much any day for me. Yep.
I always try to blame it on the head injury I sustained as a wee toddler. :icon_lol:

I remember one time working on a project with this very attractive, young, blonde female co-worker.
I had a dozen or so parts to assemble and she offered to help, so I asked her if she wanted to have six...
I didn't catch my mistake until she quiped, "Right here?" and the rest of the crew started to laugh.
 
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