• There seems to be an uptick in Political comments in recent months. Those of us who are long time members of the site know that Political and Religious content has been banned for years. Nothing has changed. Please leave all political and religious comments out of the forums.

    If you recently joined the forums you were not presented with this restriction in the terms of service. This was due to a conversion error when we went from vBulletin to Xenforo. We have updated our terms of service to reflect these corrections.

    Please note any post refering to a politician will be considered political even if it is intended to be humor. Our experience is these topics have a way of dividing the forums and causing deep resentment among members. It is a poison to the community. We appreciate compliance with the rules.

    The Staff of SOH

  • Server side Maintenance is done. We still have an update to the forum software to run but that one will have to wait for a better time.

why cat scans and lab reports cost so much!!!

Daveroo

Daveroo

Members +
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet..
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"
The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."​
 
This brings to mind something that I experience about 20 years ago in my younger and crazier days when I was a law enforcement officer. I was in a trauma room at a hospital with an unconscious armed robbery suspect who was ejected from his vehicle into the road during a pursuit. The doctors tried to revive him but were unable. After working on him for a while one of the doctors took a pair of channel lock pliers and clamped down on the man's big toe as hard as he could to the point where the doctor's face grimaced. He then proclaimed in a loud and clear voice to all in the room, "This man is dead." I approached the doctor and said, "Doctor X, uhh, I'm just curious, what were the pliers for?" To which he replied, "Harvard Medical School has set four criteria, the presence of any at least any three of which, will determine that a person is dead. Those criteria are: No vital signs, no reflexes, a flat EEG, and no response to pain. We checked his vitals and they were absent, a shined a light in his eyes and saw no constriction of his pupils and therefore there were no reflexes, we don't have an EEG readily available, so I was left with the last alternative, no response to pain, and that is what I used the pliers for." I could only reply, "Thanks, that was very interesting."
 
Dave: That was funny. Had not heard it before.

Landman: Interesting application of medical characteristics of the human body.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top