This is really just a matter you have to get used to. I always turn the buttons in VC mode, even in more complicated planes (Wilco E-Jets...).
Well, you could also try to lower your sink rate a bit. I think the CRJ starts slowing down at 1500 to 1600fpm. Or simply put the speed hold to less than 250 KIAS to make AutoThrottle cut out down power to idle.
If size doesn't matter try Aerdesign's A318 for FS9 (it's considerably smaller than FSX's A321 though). Or Moach's 737-700 for FS9.
Both aircraft are awesome freeware. in fact, they're so awesome that I created a paint for the A318 and a VC upgrade for the 737-700.
In case you want to try the FSX A321 first nonetheless, here's a site offering a modified (and way more realisitc) FDE for it (and other FSX default aircraft):
http://www.metzgergva.de/default_e.htm