Today, I became a victim of thievery. Nothing major, nothing expensive, nothing that I will really miss...other than right at that moment. This is probably going to be a fairly long post...so you might want to put on a pot of coffee, grab a dozen donuts and settle in for some reading...I will at least try to make it funny.
Okay...I am a smoker. It's a nasty, nasty habit. One that I enjoy...most of the time. But one that I am working to break. I have reduced the degree of my smoking by no longer smoking in the house. That step alone has reduced my smoking by at least 75%...and which allows our home to no longer smell like a 900 square foot ash tray.
I am also working to reduce the amount of smoking I do in the car. I admit it...I am a chain smoker when I am behind the wheel. I get in the car, I fire up a cigarette, I fire up the car. I drive 2 miles, I finish my cigarette, I shut off the car, I run into the store to buy a pop or something, get back in the car and fire up another cigarette. It's insane how much smoking I do in the car at time.
So, today I had some running to do....and I, in an effort to reduce my car smoking (me smoking in the car that is...there is nothing I can do about how much my car smokes however)....I took just 2 cigarettes and a lighter with me. With only two smokes, I could not smoke one after another.
Now...today was a hot sunny day. 80 degrees, clear sky at this time. When I stopped at the various stored I needed to go to, I left the windows down, the doors unlocked. I never lock the doors. There is nothing in my car that would cost more to replace than a broken window if someone were to break a window to steal something in the car. Heck, it would cost more to replace a single door window than the entire car is worth. It's a 1996 Chevy Corsica. Junk the day it rolled off the assembly line...even more so 14 years and 120 thousand miles later.
This car is so bad, so pathetic that bumper stickers will not stay on it. I can put a new bumper sticker on the car and as I am driving down the road, I can hear them back there pealing themselves off the bumper. FFFFFTTTT (the sound of sticky vinyl being pealed off of sun faded paint). I can hear them talking to themselves as they work to free themselves from my car...."I must" FFFFFTTTTT "get off this car" FFFFFTTTT "before one of my friends" FFFFTTTT "see me." It is a bit depressing to know that my car is so pathetic that even political bumper stickers from 2 presidential elections ago will not stay on my car. I have tried George Bush and John Kerrie stickers...and they both refused to stay on my car.....finally, something that the Republicans and Democrats can agree on...the fact that my car sucks.
I once had a bumper sticker that read "Honk if you see parts falling off." The next morning I went out to the car, and the bumper sticker was playing a saxophone for Pete's sake.
Okay...this car is bad. The most valuable things in the car are:
1) The handicap parking placard thingie that allows us to park in the handicap spots at Walmart.
2) The cassette tape version of the sound track from the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus".
3) The three pair of $1 sunglasses that I keep in the center console between the front bucket seats....and I mean bucket seats...the original seats were so worn out that I replaced them with upside down, plastic 5-gallon buckets with pillows taped to the bottoms for cushion.
Okay...do you fully comprehend how bad my car is. Nothing of value in, on or around this car. Yet today, someone was so desperate that they stole something from inside this car.
And as Paul Harvey would say..."Thank God this story is about over...someone take away this idiot's keyboard!"
Got the last of my running down..which was grocery shopping...loaded the groceries into the car, got in the car, put on my seat belt, put on my sunglasses, started the car. Reached over to the passenger seat to grab my single cigarette (had smoked the first one on the way into town) and lighter. The cigarette was right there were I had left it....but the lighter was gone.
THE LIGHTER WAS GONE! SOME ONE STOLE MY LIGHTER!
This was not some fancy, pricey, engraved work of art Zippo. This was not even a Bic lighter. This was a Four for a Dollar cheap, made in some country that the factory workers in China have never even heard of kind of lighter. And some one STOLE it. Someone had the audacity to reach inside my car, risking a serious case of tetanus from all the rust on the door, to steal a partially used 25 cent disposable butane lighter.
Now, I took the time to make sure all the good stuff was still in the car: Handicap parking placard, check. "Mr. Holland's Opus" sound track cassette tape, check. Three pair of $1 sunglasses, check. Thank goodness for that....otherwise I might have had to file an insurance claim.
OBIO
Okay...I am a smoker. It's a nasty, nasty habit. One that I enjoy...most of the time. But one that I am working to break. I have reduced the degree of my smoking by no longer smoking in the house. That step alone has reduced my smoking by at least 75%...and which allows our home to no longer smell like a 900 square foot ash tray.
I am also working to reduce the amount of smoking I do in the car. I admit it...I am a chain smoker when I am behind the wheel. I get in the car, I fire up a cigarette, I fire up the car. I drive 2 miles, I finish my cigarette, I shut off the car, I run into the store to buy a pop or something, get back in the car and fire up another cigarette. It's insane how much smoking I do in the car at time.
So, today I had some running to do....and I, in an effort to reduce my car smoking (me smoking in the car that is...there is nothing I can do about how much my car smokes however)....I took just 2 cigarettes and a lighter with me. With only two smokes, I could not smoke one after another.
Now...today was a hot sunny day. 80 degrees, clear sky at this time. When I stopped at the various stored I needed to go to, I left the windows down, the doors unlocked. I never lock the doors. There is nothing in my car that would cost more to replace than a broken window if someone were to break a window to steal something in the car. Heck, it would cost more to replace a single door window than the entire car is worth. It's a 1996 Chevy Corsica. Junk the day it rolled off the assembly line...even more so 14 years and 120 thousand miles later.
This car is so bad, so pathetic that bumper stickers will not stay on it. I can put a new bumper sticker on the car and as I am driving down the road, I can hear them back there pealing themselves off the bumper. FFFFFTTTT (the sound of sticky vinyl being pealed off of sun faded paint). I can hear them talking to themselves as they work to free themselves from my car...."I must" FFFFFTTTTT "get off this car" FFFFFTTTT "before one of my friends" FFFFTTTT "see me." It is a bit depressing to know that my car is so pathetic that even political bumper stickers from 2 presidential elections ago will not stay on my car. I have tried George Bush and John Kerrie stickers...and they both refused to stay on my car.....finally, something that the Republicans and Democrats can agree on...the fact that my car sucks.
I once had a bumper sticker that read "Honk if you see parts falling off." The next morning I went out to the car, and the bumper sticker was playing a saxophone for Pete's sake.
Okay...this car is bad. The most valuable things in the car are:
1) The handicap parking placard thingie that allows us to park in the handicap spots at Walmart.
2) The cassette tape version of the sound track from the movie "Mr. Holland's Opus".
3) The three pair of $1 sunglasses that I keep in the center console between the front bucket seats....and I mean bucket seats...the original seats were so worn out that I replaced them with upside down, plastic 5-gallon buckets with pillows taped to the bottoms for cushion.
Okay...do you fully comprehend how bad my car is. Nothing of value in, on or around this car. Yet today, someone was so desperate that they stole something from inside this car.
And as Paul Harvey would say..."Thank God this story is about over...someone take away this idiot's keyboard!"
Got the last of my running down..which was grocery shopping...loaded the groceries into the car, got in the car, put on my seat belt, put on my sunglasses, started the car. Reached over to the passenger seat to grab my single cigarette (had smoked the first one on the way into town) and lighter. The cigarette was right there were I had left it....but the lighter was gone.
THE LIGHTER WAS GONE! SOME ONE STOLE MY LIGHTER!
This was not some fancy, pricey, engraved work of art Zippo. This was not even a Bic lighter. This was a Four for a Dollar cheap, made in some country that the factory workers in China have never even heard of kind of lighter. And some one STOLE it. Someone had the audacity to reach inside my car, risking a serious case of tetanus from all the rust on the door, to steal a partially used 25 cent disposable butane lighter.
Now, I took the time to make sure all the good stuff was still in the car: Handicap parking placard, check. "Mr. Holland's Opus" sound track cassette tape, check. Three pair of $1 sunglasses, check. Thank goodness for that....otherwise I might have had to file an insurance claim.
OBIO
