My condolences to you. I know times are hard, but as the saying goes, the darkest hour is just before dawn. I had a dog named Shane when I was a child. He was a German Shepard. He was my brother, my protector, my friend. One day after we had come home from a camping trip, I went out in the back yard to find him. He wasn't there, so Dad volunteered to go look for him. He did, 2 blocks up the street on the side of the road. I suppose he was out looking for us.
It was one of the most heart-breaking things I have ever gone through. One thing I have learned to help cope with it is to remember, gone but never forgotten. I remember that he was in my life as long as I needed him, and as soon as I was ready, he was called home. I can only hope that with time, your pain eases and that you find comfort in remembering him and all the good times together. My very best regards, Jeremy