• There seems to be an uptick in Political comments in recent months. Those of us who are long time members of the site know that Political and Religious content has been banned for years. Nothing has changed. Please leave all political and religious comments out of the forums.

    If you recently joined the forums you were not presented with this restriction in the terms of service. This was due to a conversion error when we went from vBulletin to Xenforo. We have updated our terms of service to reflect these corrections.

    Please note any post refering to a politician will be considered political even if it is intended to be humor. Our experience is these topics have a way of dividing the forums and causing deep resentment among members. It is a poison to the community. We appreciate compliance with the rules.

    The Staff of SOH

  • Server side Maintenance is done. We still have an update to the forum software to run but that one will have to wait for a better time.

Men are just happier people

L

lifejogger

Lost in Texas
[FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]NICKNAMES [/FONT]


    • [*]If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
      [*]If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT


    • [*]When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
      [*]When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY


    • [*]A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
      [*]A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS


    • [*]A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap , and a towel
      [*]The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS


    • [*]A woman has the last word in any argument.
      [*]Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE


    • [*]A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
      [*]A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS


    • [*]A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
      [*]A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE


    • [*]A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
      [*]A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP


    • [*]A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
      [*]A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL


    • [*]Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
      [*]Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING


    • [*]Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
      [*]A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
 
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