The only times I ever cursed was at the situation, not at the individual. It's a fine difference, but a vital one.
The other thing is that when I've had to chew someone out, I made deliberate effort to do it in private. One time I did use profanity doing it, but it was again addressing the poor behavior such as "that's bull****!" In this case, it was a super sharp NCO who repetedly violated my guidance to him as to his limits of authority on equipment access. He was repeatedly stepping on the toes of a civilian contract, authorizing active duty personnel to take equipment for other uses outside the contract when the equipment was apportioned to the contractor's oversight and responsibility!
That's stuff that can lead to courts martial. So, in my view, I was saving the guy from himself. The reason I did that was because his errors were from a sincere desire to "get things done," which I normally admired in him.
But this Navy Captain appears like a totally ineffective leader. I cannot imagine even thinking about spitting in someone's face nor throwing objects at them, much less doing it! Just one such outrage should have led to her immediate courts martial! I agree with the thrust of the article that she should not have been promoted to Navy Captain much less given command of a ship. My guess is that she was a chamelion, able to shift gears and put on the professional bearing when her superiors were around. Only when she was top dog did the abusive side of her character come out.
For me, I've always tried to tread lightest around junior enlisted people. When I pinned on Major I noticed that regardless of how softly I handled a situation with an airman E-4 or below, they got wide eyed. It was a sobering lesson for me to learn and I had to force myself to really strive for the warm-hearted bearing. So, the few times I had to counsel someone I saved the stern discussions for NCO's and fellow officers. At least they had the internal confidence to handle the discussion.
As a leader, you are nothing if you harm your people. The whole point of counseling is to press the buttons required to make them better people. This Navy Captain apparently never learned that, or more likely just didn't care enough to make her people better!
Ken