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OT - a few weeks ago I asked for prayer for my wife.
- Thread starter Cowboy1968
- Start date
alpha_1
Charter Member
Though we've never met........
Hi Cowboy. We've never met but we've both lost our wives to illness. You recently, me 5 years ago. I'm prayin' for ya, Bud. I'm sure you miss her terribly......I did and do mine. I since discovered that God really loves us and life goes on. It's a tough thing to look at eye to eye, I know but time is a great healer. You'll find your way to deal with your pain, like I did mine. She needs you to live, for her.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you well.
God bless you, Friend.
Hi Cowboy. We've never met but we've both lost our wives to illness. You recently, me 5 years ago. I'm prayin' for ya, Bud. I'm sure you miss her terribly......I did and do mine. I since discovered that God really loves us and life goes on. It's a tough thing to look at eye to eye, I know but time is a great healer. You'll find your way to deal with your pain, like I did mine. She needs you to live, for her.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you well.
God bless you, Friend.
Dear Cowboy --- friend. Please understand you aren't supposed to handle it well. Now is the time you need to grieve. But she would not want you to hurt forever and would be happy for you when you are able to begin to breath again and start to heal. Please seek out a grief counselor to help you understand how you will process your loss emotionally. There is much to go through and understanding the ups and downs helps to cope.
How do I know? By the time I was 50, I had lost my first son, my first wife, my parents, and my sisters. For a long time I thought God had abandoned me, but He hadn't. I had abandoned Him in my pain, guilt and anger. I once asked a minister counseling me how God could let these things happen, why them and not me, most especially my son. And he told me something I will never forget. Death is the enemy, he said, but if we ask Him God will save us forever, which is where it matters.
Beginning then, in small steps, I was able to move on again and along the way God let me know he was still holding me up, blessing me with my current wife and two great children.
You know, I've never told anyone this before. I hope it can help you in some small way.
You have my deepest sympathy and best wishes.
How do I know? By the time I was 50, I had lost my first son, my first wife, my parents, and my sisters. For a long time I thought God had abandoned me, but He hadn't. I had abandoned Him in my pain, guilt and anger. I once asked a minister counseling me how God could let these things happen, why them and not me, most especially my son. And he told me something I will never forget. Death is the enemy, he said, but if we ask Him God will save us forever, which is where it matters.
Beginning then, in small steps, I was able to move on again and along the way God let me know he was still holding me up, blessing me with my current wife and two great children.
You know, I've never told anyone this before. I hope it can help you in some small way.
You have my deepest sympathy and best wishes.
Reply...
Cowboy,
If I remember correctly, I know that you and your wife had children. If it helps, think of them as a part of your late wife that lives on in them, and that she will still have the chance to watch them grow up from her new perspective. Let them growing up and maturing truly be her legacy, as well as remembering what she meant to you.
And as Kurt said; grieving is perfectly natural and acceptable...I can remember after my father passed that I was numb before I really felt loss. I am on Skype if you need to talk tonight.
Cowboy,
If I remember correctly, I know that you and your wife had children. If it helps, think of them as a part of your late wife that lives on in them, and that she will still have the chance to watch them grow up from her new perspective. Let them growing up and maturing truly be her legacy, as well as remembering what she meant to you.
And as Kurt said; grieving is perfectly natural and acceptable...I can remember after my father passed that I was numb before I really felt loss. I am on Skype if you need to talk tonight.
Cowboy,
You are grieving very appropriately, brother.
My wife went through ovarian cancer chemotherapy and total hysterectomy while we were stationed in Germany.
What you are going through came to my mind as a distinct possibility in my life.
Continue to grieve your profound loss of your soul-mate, wife, best friend and lover. Let the emotions come out and when you are so very, very sad, ask God for his peace, love, and comfort.
Know that your grief is normal and appropriate. You are handling it well, as well as can be expected.
You are normal and handling this great loss normally.
Again, our prayers, condolences, deepest sympathies are with you.
Lee
Cowboy1968
Charter Member
The dreams of my wife keep coming. They are pleasant dreams until I wake up. then the loneliness seems to grow deeper.
Once I wake up and find she isn't with me, I just cry. I find myself getting more and more depressed. More and more wanting to get drunk to stay numb. I promised my love I wouldn't go into the bottle fifteen years ago.
Life is dark for me right now
It is loneliness
Once I wake up and find she isn't with me, I just cry. I find myself getting more and more depressed. More and more wanting to get drunk to stay numb. I promised my love I wouldn't go into the bottle fifteen years ago.
Life is dark for me right now
It is loneliness
Please follow Captain Kurt's advice and seek out a grief counselor and visit with them sooner rather than later.
It is sound advice, preferably a Christian one.
Use this sad situation to draw closer to God, not further from him.
Our life on this earth is momentary in comparison to eternity.
Find a grief counselor today or tomorrow. Please do not wait.
Again, my prayers are with you.
It is sound advice, preferably a Christian one.
Use this sad situation to draw closer to God, not further from him.
Our life on this earth is momentary in comparison to eternity.
Find a grief counselor today or tomorrow. Please do not wait.
Again, my prayers are with you.
I agree with devildog. seek out the counselor sooner than later. it will take time. i know its too early but maybe consider getting a pet at some point that would give you companionship day in day out ebsides relatives visiting or checking on you. I turned to getting a kitten when I lost someone special. its not the same but it does help in long run.
http://www.wikihow.com/Live-After-the-Death-of-a-Spouse
PS: I lost my mom when I was 18 back in 1991 and was in high school then. She was closest to me than anyone including my father. i cried and still think of her and the good times every now and then. I am 41 now and dont go a day without thinking of her. So cry, grieve and share with the counselor. remember you always have us here at the forum too.
http://www.wikihow.com/Live-After-the-Death-of-a-Spouse
PS: I lost my mom when I was 18 back in 1991 and was in high school then. She was closest to me than anyone including my father. i cried and still think of her and the good times every now and then. I am 41 now and dont go a day without thinking of her. So cry, grieve and share with the counselor. remember you always have us here at the forum too.
Very sad news. My condolences to you. Please stay strong in this dark time.
I haven`t lost close family members yet, but I can tell my life has changed very much within very short time.
I am very happy now with my little family still growing. But 5 years ago, I could swear, I will never have kids.
Give your sadness the time it needs. But there will be better times again. For sure.
46 is just somewhere in the middle! Still so much to explore!
I haven`t lost close family members yet, but I can tell my life has changed very much within very short time.
I am very happy now with my little family still growing. But 5 years ago, I could swear, I will never have kids.
Give your sadness the time it needs. But there will be better times again. For sure.
46 is just somewhere in the middle! Still so much to explore!
rhumbaflappy
Charter Member
Hi Darrell.
We don't know each other, but I am moved by your suffering.
This is my belief, and I hope it gives you some comfort.
God loves us. I don't know why, but He does. We are bound by a covenant with God created by the perfect sacrifice of Jesus. We are all saved... this means at death we are all forgiven, all corrected, all accepted. You will again meet your dear wife in Paradise, and all will be better than before. This is certain.
Dick
We don't know each other, but I am moved by your suffering.
This is my belief, and I hope it gives you some comfort.
God loves us. I don't know why, but He does. We are bound by a covenant with God created by the perfect sacrifice of Jesus. We are all saved... this means at death we are all forgiven, all corrected, all accepted. You will again meet your dear wife in Paradise, and all will be better than before. This is certain.
Dick
Darrell,
Hang in there mate. No words I utter on this page can give the comfort you need, but I hope in some way the reactions here on the OH give you some kind of support. I'm not a religious man myself, but I always try to look ahead and imagine what the person I lost would want me to do. There is a time to mourn for such a terrible loss, but eventually you must accept it and go on. I think your late wife would have wanted you to do just that.
My sincerest condolences,
Cees
Hang in there mate. No words I utter on this page can give the comfort you need, but I hope in some way the reactions here on the OH give you some kind of support. I'm not a religious man myself, but I always try to look ahead and imagine what the person I lost would want me to do. There is a time to mourn for such a terrible loss, but eventually you must accept it and go on. I think your late wife would have wanted you to do just that.
My sincerest condolences,
Cees