safn1949,
I believe what you're looking for is in the CFS2.cfg file. Open the file and scroll down to the [Multiplayer] section, and look for:
ALLOW_PLANE_MODEL_SEND=0
ALLOW_PLANE_MODEL_RECEIVE=0
ALLOW_TEXTURE_SEND=0
ALLOW_TEXTURE_RECEIVE=0
Change all the default 0 values to 1 to get send and receive of models/textures in multiplayer.
Your opponent will also have had to make the same change in his CFS2.cfg for it to work. When I was flying the CFS2 zone, I had not made the changes, as our squadron all used the same planes. I think I tried this with some online folks at one time, but I can't remember how well it actually worked [see, you're not the only "old school" with memory fades]. Be very very carefull when making any changes to your CFS2.cfg file, and always make a backup before proceeding.
"Don't just stand there... get one up!"
AER_DaddyO