This one's for you, dad...

[Rami]

Hey guys,

I may not get a chance to post this on Tuesday, so I figured I'd do it now. Tuesday will mark one year since my dad passed, and I wanted to honor his memory by posting the song he taught me to dance the waltz to. It's a classic, and holds a special place in my heart. It was the first song my parents slow-danced to, and it was the first song I chose for my wife and I to dance to. I even played at our wedding to honor him.

So, this one's for you, dad. I hope you're not driving God too crazy up there...there's no dust in heaven for you to wipe off.

Gary Dean Talbot - April 6th, 1946 to October 16th, 2011.

 

[brad kaste]

Well stated Rami. I'm sure you made your dad feel very proud of his dutiful son.

 

[Jagdflieger]

Just love that song, Rami.

I understand your Father's affection for it. May he dance to it daily.

 

[arfyhun]

I know how you feel Rami. Dads are Dads.

Mine worked his backside off for me, to feed, clothe and shelter me and give me a fantastic education, all because he loved and was proud of me, his only child.

Working at DeHavilland aviation, he was a very skilled man and he went out of his way to teach me the rudiments of electricity ('It's a great servant but a bad master'); mathematics; religion and obviously, aeronautics.

Somehow all of those wonderful gifts he gave me got lost in translation. I felt he was pushing me too much and talking down to me, never talking to me. Looking back he was, but I was too young to grasp he wanted the best for me and to try to ignore his mannerisms.

I did make myself a 'self made man' but by then the bitterness inside me was so rooted every time he spoke to me I felt he was still at it. Sometimes it was all I could do to look at him.

When he was terminally ill, I did'nt do half as much as I could and should have done, such was the resentment inside me.

I only allowed myself to accept what a fool I had been just after I buried him with Mam, when the Luther Vandross song 'Dance with my Father again' came out. Only then did I allow the truth to enter my thick head (as Dad had said to me on countless occasions).

I hope nobody finds this letter disgusting, I'll reserve that judgment for me.

So boys and girls out there in the ether, if any part of my tale fits yours, take a deep breath, count to a million if you have to, it may just save you the endless regret I have.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Graham.

 

[Penzoil3]

I salute your courage.

Graham, it took guts to post that message. I had a similar problem with my mom. Fortunately, my husband talked me into resuming conversation with her before it was too late. I was lucky.

I hope your message can help some one else to be lucky enough to communicate with a parent while they still can ! I know how bad I would have felt if I had just left her to live out her senior years, and die alone. I have some regrets, but at least that's not one of them...

Sue :salute:

 

[Rami]

Reply...

Graham,

I was also thinking about ways to respond to your message. I've realized as I've gotten older how his subtle guidance in my choices, thoughts, and morals really left an impression on me. I can only imagine the mixed emotions you have for your father, but I can almost be certain that he would not want you to beat yourself up over it. Keep your chin up, and pass that lesson on to your children, telling them that life is too short to hold grudges.