Mr. Bjoern,
Thank you for writing to tell us of your missing signature. We have researched your problem extensively. Unfortunatly, no one else has ever reported experiencing a similar problem. The fault of losing your signature must rest squarely on your computer's shoulders.
We suggest you check your computer's settings. Look carefully in the bottom of your case. There among the dust bolts, chewing gum wrappers, and missing bytes, you may find your signature.
If that doesn't work, we suggest you do a frontal lobotomy on your registry. You may find the signature hiding there among the deleted pictures of your ex-girlfriend and deleted emails.
Lastly, if all else fails it may be time to upgrade your computer. A 9mm round through the CPU should quickly put the old gal out of her misery. You could then upgrade to our newest model, please see link below to our new store, run by my BIL. His used car lot has gone bankrupt for the fourth time. In the meanwhile, he is selling computers. he will make you a great deal.
Good luck in finding your missing signature. If you have any more questions please feel free to write us again. We are here to help.
Your helpful customer Service Agent
Note: do not reply to this message, it goes to a dead email folder. If you need further help, you must start over from the beginning and get back in the Que. If you do not hear from us within 8736 hours, you are totally screwed for the year.
Our office hours are 10:00 AM to 2:00 PM unless we have an earlier tee time. We will be closed starting on Dec 17 for the 14 different holidays celebrated this time of the year.
