Comms, I'm not too bad - I've had a radio license as a sailor for many years and as a rw pilot for a few - so, know brevity is the soul of being understood fast.
Formation? - Ummm - that's another matter, I'm either too quick; and overshoot, or too slow; and under achieve required speed and alt. It really is bloody difficult to match speed with 8 tons of metal travelling at 550 KIAS less than 15 feet away from you at 16 thou.
Any hints very gratefully received.
Ganter - Not sure if you got any hints but here is the first few you need:
1) All formation flying relies on the lead aircraft, lead is lead and worries about what and where to etc, everybody else just follows in formation.
2) All formation ops require a thorough pre-flight briefing process to understand what the plan or objectives are, so everybody is working from the same sheet music.
3) Lead can be exchanged in flight but generally is not unless the LEAD has had to bug out or some other issue.
4) What formation is going to be flown? is critical, line astern (High or low), Echelon left or right, diamond, box, etc and is generally decided in advance but it can be changed in flight LEAD makes the call and everyone then follows in sequence. So there is another clue in formation everyone has a number and a slot.
5) LEAD makes the radio calls to ground etc. and with brief phrases will convey to the rest of the formation any changes, left right etc. Everyone else just follows.
So everyone else in the formation but the lead just follows so you know what your doing, where your going and now all you have to do is concentrate of keeping position. If you cannot you bugout and call it and go a specific direction already predetermine so you do not run into anyone and they do not run into you.
NOW actually flying a formation requires a lot of practise. The clues are all visual that you use and are dependant on aircraft type so you will align yourself on the lead aircraft in a particular way using sections of the aircraft to keep a perspective and position. What they are is dependant on the particular aircraft that make up the formation. if you look at PHANTOM TWEAKS posts re the F-18 you will see that there are very specific views of the aircraft that you have to keep aligned at all times. Each aircraft is different and will have a different point or points generally though this will be the rear quarter, such as keeping the elevator tip and fin top and or wing tip in a particular alignment or picture perspective.
All this is also dependant on power control, if your not lead you will be forever changing power and attitude to keep in the slot. You will always be using more power to keep up, if you drop back unintentionally everyone behind you has to drop back. In other words you only have eyes for the aircraft you follow and you watch it like a hawk, LEAD does the nav, the radios and makes the calls. In the RW if your not close and correct or sloppy you run the real risk of hitting slipstreams and vortex turbulence which could ruin your day real fast. Doing it at night and in the crap is a whole other ball game best left for another day.
That is about all I can tell you at the moment it is practise, practise, practise, including formation take-offs and landings. You don't even start formation flying in the military until you have got a lot of time up, but that said, they start em early at advanced flight training but it is elementary formation flight and simple like a line astern or echelon. That said not everybody can be a Blue Angel etc and that is a real ask.
I can see no reason why proper formation flying should be an issue in FSX visually. I would suggest that you get the little freeware program that sets up a formation based on your aircraft library and having a go at it, it will be pretty tame compared to multi-player stuff but it is the best place to start from my perspective. Start with something slow and work up as you get a handle on it. That formation AI program will let you do that over and over again. I guess you need to be confident and competent in the sim handling department already but at least there is the pause button if you stuff it up. I would not do the Tanker stuff until you happy with your general handling and flying close up.
And the reason you fly formation, well it is not because it is pretty it is because it is a really good way of getting a whole lot of aircraft in one bunch from A to B.
P.S - I did it, did a lot of it once, hated every minute of it, still do, something about being up close like that in real life I did not find exciting, formation aerobatics is about the only time I liked it a little bit. Something satisfying about doing an aeros routine in formation. Same rule still applies, lead calls it you just follow. I find life is a lot more peaceful and less fraught on your lonesome in an aeroplane unless of course they are shooting at you then it is not so exciting at all.
As for carrier stuff, never done it but IMHO these guys know their stuff and then some it takes a lot of skill to turn an F18 into a STOL arrival using a cable as a brake in a pitching sea day or night! Probably would never have done it, one my country had no carriers and two I get seasick!