Deeply depressing

A

AndyG43

SOH-CM-2023
I'm posting this here, in the FS9 forums, because I feel I may be among friends.

I am seriously considering 'quitting' SOH. Although things are fine here in the FS9 forum, we all seem to be civilised people, I am growing increasingly depressed at the levels of unpleasantness exhibited elsewhere. One particular thread has brought me to this point, where people are actively revelling in how unpleasant they can be to a group of people largely just doing their jobs; my attempts to defend this group has got me labelled as "judgmental".

However, this is not an isolated incident; I have seen people flamed and howled down for expressing an opinion that did not please some people - I have had that 'pleasure' myself on more than one occasion. I stop using another forum because it became too cliquey, and people were not allowed to have alternative opinions; it will be sad to leave the Outhouse, but I have to really think if I want to be associated with these levels of abuse, nastiness & unpleasantness.

Thanks for listening.
 
AndyG43 said:
I'm posting this here, in the FS9 forums, because I feel I may be among friends.

I am seriously considering 'quitting' SOH. Although things are fine here in the FS9 forum, we all seem to be civilised people, I am growing increasingly depressed at the levels of unpleasantness exhibited elsewhere. One particular thread has brought me to this point, where people are actively revelling in how unpleasant they can be to a group of people largely just doing their jobs; my attempts to defend this group has got me labelled as "judgmental".

However, this is not an isolated incident; I have seen people flamed and howled down for expressing an opinion that did not please some people - I have had that 'pleasure' myself on more than one occasion. I stop using another forum because it became too cliquey, and people were not allowed to have alternative opinions; it will be sad to leave the Outhouse, but I have to really think if I want to be associated with these levels of abuse, nastiness & unpleasantness.

Thanks for listening.
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Well I think the Mods and staff here do an excellent job of intervening and stopping the nastiness before it gets too out of hand. This is certainly one of the more polite places on the web.
 
Andy

If you encounter any thread in which things are becoming uncivilized, in which members are being attacked, in which political stances are being expounded on, in which things are getting ugly....use the "Report Thread" function. This will alert the SOH staff to the fact that there is a thread that needs looked at and things need to be addressed. As a Junior Administrator, I try to get into every forum on a daily basis to snoop around and test the waters....but I do not read every thread in the forums. Most of the SOH forums have at least one moderator to keep and eye on things....but those people may not be on the site for hours at a time as they have jobs and family and life outside of SOH. Using the "Report" function cause a thread to be auto-posted down in the SOH Staff forum and a staff member or 2 or 3 or 4 will look into it. The staff here at SOH is a good balance of folks, and we are all dedicated to keeping things nice and comfy for everyone.

Don't leave the site....trust me, SOH is the most balanced, most civilized, most comfortable flight sim forum going....I have looked at a number of others and have left shaking my head wondering how people can be so rude and vicious to other folks who simply ask a question that was asked 5 years ago. And besides, you would be missed!

OBIO
 
OBIO said:
Don't leave the site....trust me, SOH is the most balanced, most civilized, most comfortable flight sim forum going....I have looked at a number of others and have left shaking my head wondering how people can be so rude and vicious to other folks who simply ask a question that was asked 5 years ago. And besides, you would be missed!

OBIO
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Hi mate; I understand your position.. I only rarely visit over there for the same reason.. however
I second Obio's opinion...this is one of the better places to hang out; besides which, if you leave the unofficial grumpy old gits club would be down a member too and we can't have that can we....:icon_lol:

ttfn

Pete
 
Tim,

One of the Junior Administrators has actually posted on this particular thread, he made some very valid and reasonable points. One particular poster on that thread has really got under my skin, and I am possibly being over sensitive - but, as I said, this isn't an isolated incident & I really have to think about how I want to proceed.

Your comment "SOH is the most balanced, most civilized, most comfortable flight sim forum going", well, that certainly applies to the FS9 forum; we seem to be a relaxed & co-operative bunch here. But I don't think it applies in Newshawks, and the amount of flaming I've seen (and experienced) in the FSX threads depressed me. So I have two choices; I either leave SOH entirely; or I restrict myself solely to the FS9 threads.
 
You ARE most definately among friends.

Andy,

to even consider leaving SOH would simply be denying yourself and friends who truly value your company, humour and very considerable knowlege.

I read the 'thread' and consider its content and context to be entirely irrelevant to your real interests here anyway.

People are entitled to their opinions, but Obio's comments cover such situations that get out of hand.

So Andy, stick around buddy, there's no enemy flack around this part of home.

Relax, you're among friends.
 
Andy, you may wish to ask yourself what it is that the SimOuthouse provides for you.

What does this site have that you need.

I find it functions very much like many technically oriented social groups that I've encountered offline. Car clubs, flying clubs, and the like.

Many layers of sociality are present, from serious technical, creative and problem solving people, to fair minded social types looking for commonality and comradery, to social competitors and power-structure exclusionists. Like any part of our society...it's all there in one big buffet, the good, the bad, and the stinky. ( Mind you...stinky might just be a sign that something is well fermented and ready to consume....)

Decide what you like, and help yourself. If issues with others crop up, none of us can change or correct them. If they exceed the website standards, the mods will bust'em. It's truly a matter, like all other facets of life, of moving through it all gracefully and maintaining the pursuit of your goals. If you're looking for friends, there are some here worth their weight in gold. Technical stuff...? The artisans, gurus and techs here just take my breath away. And sure...there's some trendoids, cliquers, and exclusionists...but are those the ones you truly want to exchange with...? You can't tame them, you can't teach'em anything, and the lack of depth and short attention span will have those folks moving on to the next flavour of the week without a moment's notice. Let the misery ride with'em. My heart goes out to their self induced aingst and misery, yet there's not a thing I can do but give'em space and save myself.

I'm not certain if you're truly waving goodbye, or if you're asking anybody to talk you out of a departure.

Maybe you just need to take some quiet time to re-evaluate.

SimOuthouse is a very special place, even with the funny name.....( or especially because of it....) As such, the site also represents pretty-much all facets of human society. We human-type creatures have refined the Law of the Jungle to a fairly subtle and stinging thing at times, but it's still The Law of The Jungle. At least one can recognize that and move past it to find some real enjoyment, some real positive experiences and real useful learning. SimOuthouse is not really a bubble or a shelter from Darwins real world. What it is......is an international gathering place for aviation entuisiasts, both real world and virtual. No matter who they are, no matter where they're from, no matter what the baggage carried. Real world survival skills go a long way to creating a happy experience within an environment of variety and adversity....anywhere in the world.

Now....can you find a positive and rewarding place in here somewhere? Only you can answer that for yourself.....and there's no time limit at that.

Cheers.:guinness::guinness:
 
seems the moderators dropped the ball on that thread...
has nothing to do with flightsimming or aviation, and is getting argumentative.
usually a thread like that gets locked in no time flat.
 
Andy,

I know what you mean about the 'other-side', I don't go there much, just snoop for interesting stuff, very very rarely post. Funny thing is I remember a very similar thing a few years ago when I started dropping into the FS9 forum from the CFS2 forum. Was similar then to the FSX forum now. Things got a good bit friendlier here when FSX came out, wonder what happened, you do the math, lol.

Don't leave, you are certainly among friends here.

Jamie.
 
johnh_049 said:
seems the moderators dropped the ball on that thread...
has nothing to do with flightsimming or aviation, and is getting argumentative.
usually a thread like that gets locked in no time flat.
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The thread in question was in the 'Newshawks' forum which is not aviation specific. While SOH is primarily an aviation based site it is not a 'single topic' entity. If you look at the various forum titles you will find that SOH also caters to enthusiasts in the photography, train sim, motor racing, RC model and numerous other fields.

As such the original thread was not out of place nor 'taboo', it is however being closely watched by a number of the staff. SOH moderators (indicated by the 'SOH Staff' title under their name) only have the power to moderate their own assigned forum(s) and can do nothing about issues on other forums other than posting a message about it in the Staff forum. SOH Admins (both Junior and Senior) have the power to intervene in all forums.

Andy, as others have said, you have made many valuable contributions to SOH over the time you have been a member here and you would be sorely missed if you decided to pull the plug. Only you can make that decision but please consider it seriously and don't let one instance of 'feather ruffling' lead to your exit.
 
JDTinballs said:
Andy,

Don't leave, you are certainly among friends here.

Jamie.
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Well, that pretty much sums it up, mate. I couldn't have said it better. Not sure what thread or in what forum this happened, and I really don't want to know but one thing is for certain.... If you go, you will be deeply missed. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who subscribes to that thought.

Like Nigel says, "Stick Around".... and don't sweat the small stuff.

Cheers mate....:ernae:
BB686:USA-flag:
 
JDTinballs said:
..Things got a friendlier here when FSX came out, wonder what happened, you do the math, lol.
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Haha I've done the sums, too.
Ain't nobody but us grumpy old fellers left here ;)

Andy, best thing when you have the blahs:
keep yourself really busy, turning out wonderful fs9 toys for us all to play with!
 
Nigel, pass me that roll of Duct tape and the steel chair, we'll do this the greek way... low cost and simple, but works a treat :icon_lol:

stick around buddy, hell if i have to make a paintkit for the AS Bucc just to keep you about so be it :icon_lol:
 
Thanks for the support guys. I possibly just need time to calm down, no decision made (either way) as yet.

Larry, if this was an isolated incident I probably wouldn't have worried, but it has happened before; I have stayed away from both Newshawks and FSX for prolonged periods because of abuse. As you've read the thread you will also understand why this particular time it has really got under my skin; I'm being forced to take a job that may well expose me to that kind of attitude on a daily basis, so to read people crowing about how clever they are was not very uplifting. I have immense respect for some of the mods & admins here; I will mention yourself, Tim, Milton, Tom, Roger & Pam particularly in that respect.

Jamie. Yes, it does add up.
 
Tako_Kichi said:
The thread in question was in the 'Newshawks' forum which is not aviation specific. While SOH is primarily an aviation based site it is not a 'single topic' entity. If you look at the various forum titles you will find that SOH also caters to enthusiasts in the photography, train sim, motor racing, RC model and numerous other fields.

As such the original thread was not out of place nor 'taboo', it is however being closely watched by a number of the staff. SOH moderators (indicated by the 'SOH Staff' title under their name) only have the power to moderate their own assigned forum(s) and can do nothing about issues on other forums other than posting a message about it in the Staff forum. SOH Admins (both Junior and Senior) have the power to intervene in all forums.

Andy, as others have said, you have made many valuable contributions to SOH over the time you have been a member here and you would be sorely missed if you decided to pull the plug. Only you can make that decision but please consider it seriously and don't let one instance of 'feather ruffling' lead to your exit.
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well that's strange, I can't count the number of threads that have been closed because they didn't pertain to simming.
people who were chastised for posting funny stories and such. maybe you don't remember all those?
 
AndyG43 said:
Larry, if this was an isolated incident I probably wouldn't have worried, but it has happened before; I have stayed away from both Newshawks and FSX for prolonged periods because of abuse. As you've read the thread you will also understand why this particular time it has really got under my skin;
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I am sorry if you feel you have been 'abused' in the past Andy and hopefully things will be better in the future.

AndyG43 said:
I'm being forced to take a job that may well expose me to that kind of attitude on a daily basis, so to read people crowing about how clever they are was not very uplifting.
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You have my deepest sympathies Andy as I have had to endure situations where I was in a job I despised several times and only did it because I needed the money to survive. Hopefully you can use it as a stepping stone to something better. Since I was struck down by a life altering illness jobs are just a distant memory for me.

AndyG43 said:
I have immense respect for some of the mods & admins here; I will mention yourself, Tim, Milton, Tom, Roger & Pam particularly in that respect.
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I will thank you on behalf of all the Staff for that comment Andy as it is sometimes a very thankless task and it is difficult to get the balance right at times. There is a very fine line between letting a thread run and causing upset or stepping in and closing it down and then getting accused of being 'heavy handed'. The Staff always discuss 'hot' topics in the Staff forum before any decision is made.
 
SOH is like my street (or any one elses neighborhood)

Andy, Just like the Outhouse most of my neighbors are really great, freindly, helpful people. But, no matter where you go you will always find that select minority that is a pain. Usually and hopefully they will move on, until then I just ignore them.

I've gotten a LOT of help here at SOH, the good way outweigh the obnoxious. I think Middle said it best, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Time heals all wounds and time wounds all heels.....
 
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