Hahahah
It's not so much what you say but how you say it. I think that many comments that are made and seem nasty are those who speak English as a second language. But, as has been pointed out, there are those 1% ers who are never satisfied.
I am guilty of not giving positive comments to all those developers who further our hobby. I hope to change this in the future. We all should!
Bob
Coming from a person who speaks English impeccably... as well as 5 other languages... I must point out that a reference to ESL speakers (English as a second language) [which I taught for the US Army after I retired...
could also be misinterpreted... and this brings me to the point of your comment... as you well point out... "It's not so much what you say as how you say it" (sic)
So I would like to add... Fair comments can be misinterpreted or taken offense by a lot of people.... ESL speakers...and natives alike... when they are made by BOTH US and UK speakers who more often than not... seem to have missed a whole bunch of periods in grammar, spelling, punctuation, usage, you name it... in Home Room...
In other words... people can also be "put off" by sanctimonious comments made in atrocious English...masquerading as "officious" language...
The first thought that comes to my mind often enough when I hear them is:
"How valid can this comment be when the person making it does not seem to know the difference between THERE and THEIR... or GOOD and WELL... AFFECT and EFFECT...etc.
Especially in the US... (and Italy as well) a lot of folks take ESL speech to mean the person is not very smart... when the guy with the accent or foreign transliterations might be a real "brain"
In Italy especially (where I lived for many years)... and where they have formal and familiar ways to address conversation... people almost always address "third world" immigrants with "Tu" [familiar] but
Americans, Germans, etc. with "Lei" (YOU formal]... never for a moment thinking that this address is condescending and paternalistic.
As an obvious American... I never had an Italian give me the "Tu" without having been previously introduced... Yet.. all Africans and Arabs.. are "Tu"... [kind of like all young black men were "boy" and
older men "Uncle" in the Old South ]... and guess what? Whenever I pointed this out to Italian folks... they were surprised at never having thought about the effects of their words on foreign folks....
Just like you said... It is not
WHAT but
HOW!!! The art of communication seems destined to be a "lost art"....