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WAY OFF TOPIC but....

Bad things happen, mate. Though rough and painfull, it will not make the world stop spinning, nor will it make oxygen go away. The sun will rise next morning, in total disregard of what happened the morning before. In other words, try to give it a place, take time for yourself and your son to respond to this emotional happening, place it into perspective.

This stuff hurts, and it takes a while but it will get better.

Hope you find some good attraction to pull you off the subject every once in a while in between.

Good luck, mate
 
skyhawka4m said:
I am reaching out to my freinds for shoulders tonight.

My wife announced to me this morning she wanted a divorce. It has me all tore up inside and out, and my son, Matthew, is beside himself.

I know this is odd to some but......I'm really needing some good words right now.


thanks folks.......and I am sorry for the way off topic


john binford
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Chin up John. I know it seems like dark times right now but it will get better.

I do feel bad for your son. Kids are always caught in the middle with divorce. They often feel like it's their fault and if they had done something or could do something it would make things all better. You have to sit down and talk to him and make sure he understands it's not his fault and that sometimes people who thought they were in love can grow apart and want to go in different directions. However, just because they don't love one another anymore the love for their children is still there and will always be.

In my case divorce was the best thing that could have happened when my ex sprung it on me. I have since found a wonderful woman and we've been happily married over 5 years now and even have a little girl between us. My two kids from the previous marriage (and her two from her first) all get along great and we have a wonderful and happy home.

You will get thru this. Be strong for your son.

cheers,

Jeff
 
I'm in the middle of a divorce right now mate. What always keeps me going is my dedication to my work, friends and family. I always have a roof over my head, and food and my plate. We survive because we have no choice, and better days are always around the corner.

Cheers mate. I wish you the best. I will pray for you and your family.

-Cody
 
wow.....I am so blessed by this group of people. This has been the hardest two days I've gone through since the passing of my father.

I read and re-read all your posts and will admit to some tears. I am a big baby right now and its mainly for my son.

thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. Its amazing when you don't know someone to their face but I know I'd give you all hugs if I saw you in person. God knows I need one........


thank you
 
John ,
With all the wonderful, caring remarks I've just read, I don't have much to add other than to say I've been where you are, and in time, the pain does subside and end.

It was helpful for me to talk about it with those I could trust, and to coin an old cliche, it was "one day at a time". That's how I got through. At the end of that dark night the sun rose brightly and I met the person that I was meant to be with. That was over 10 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don't give thanks for what I went through and understand why it happened the way it did.

My hope is that each day your pain will be just a little less until there is no more.

You and your son are in my prayers.

mal
 
ahhh father and son on a field trip :) That brings a smile to my face! Thats quality time. I already drag my little one (2.5 years) to the local airfield all the time - he loves it, of course!

:ernae:
Mark
 
roger-wilco-66 said:
ahhh father and son on a field trip :) That brings a smile to my face! Thats quality time. I already drag my little one (2.5 years) to the local airfield all the time - he loves it, of course!

:ernae:
Mark
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My 13 y/o drags me all the time to the local airfiled all the time :mixedsmi:

Must be from all the time I took him when he was younger.
 
Just a few ideas

I have been through a divorce myself, so I suppose I can give you a few survival pointers:
1) find a way to convince yourself that you will survive this, because in reality you will survive this
2) understand that there are people there who love you and want you to succeed and be happy
3) focus doing some good work that you personally enjoy very much, even if that be simulated aviation
4) always have hope for a better future, because in most cases future will be better
5) MOST IMPORTANT: learn something important from you marriage and divorce about what is right and what is wrong in marriage and family life, and if you re-marry, please do everything in your power to avoid past errors.

Just my 2 cents.
Take care,
Sid
 
Sid2008 said:
I have been through a divorce myself, so I suppose I can give you a few survival pointers:
1) find a way to convince yourself that you will survive this, because in reality you will survive this
2) understand that there are people there who love you and want you to succeed and be happy
3) focus doing some good work that you personally enjoy very much, even if that be simulated aviation
4) always have hope for a better future, because in most cases future will be better
5) MOST IMPORTANT: learn something important from you marriage and divorce about what is right and what is wrong in marriage and family life, and if you re-marry, please do everything in your power to avoid past errors.

Just my 2 cents.
Take care,
Sid
Click to expand...


Thank you very much people. There have been many very emotional talks, nothing mean or angry, but frankly I think what is done is done. As many of you have said its gonna be very hard for the next couple to few months but in the end.....I am keeping hope that it will get better. I talked to a freind today and talked about how, for my marrriage, I've sacrificed many things up to and including loosing touch with friends, and my love of aviation photography. I did this so that I could focus on my wife and son to have a successful marriage. Little did I know that there were other things that were bothering her more. These things would come and go but in the end she was tired of the repetition. These things were not all my own fault but she refuses to understand that and accept her part in this. I have talked to her until I'm blue in the face and tears but it now seems.......its over. She has agreed to be understanding and not demanding and I am, maybe blindly, taking her word at it. I do intend on having our agreement signed before we agree to give our notice to our current landlord. I thank god that we don't have alot of the money issues that many have.

Anyway...sorry to ramble folks.....but really....thank you for all your support where ever you are. Its awesome what the power of the interent is capable of and how it can band a group of people from all over the world to have something like this in common.


Thank You!
 
Completely agree with Phantom88!

Way to go! You are going to have a rough ride but it will get eventually easier and smoother.

And if you feel like rambling... Ramble, dang it, that's what friends are for.

Keep going, my man, keep going.

Jose Angel
 
My heart goes out to you and your son. It is possible to have a 'good' divorce; the key, for us anyway, was to focus on the children and make things as painless as possible for them. That, more than anything else, kept things civil - we never argued or criticised each other in front of them, and never fought over money or access. Five years on we're no longer partners (we're both with other people, and much happier) but we are both still parents, very much so. I wish you and your son well.
 
Skyhawk yu will be so better off without her. I went throught the smaeting last year but she was cheating on me when i was in basic training and tech school and lied about everything. So I got a P.I. on her but and caught her. SO now she is paying me money and I am so much happyier in life. I have got to meet new people in my life friends what i will always keep in touch with. My divorce will be finally over on Aug29. Case closed :)
 
Wow, this is ironic. I just started converting to FSX, just a week after my marriage began to erode away.

I know almost exactly where you are, and even though I'm 20 years younger, and have only been with her three and a half years, married for 18 months, it sucks either way. I moved out from the very complicated situation.

I'm beside myself sometimes, and ok others. We don't have children, so I can not imagine that part, but yeah, it f'n hurts.

It lends me hope to see that others can survive it, and many have. I was talking to one of my RN pals from the hospital I work at, and I told her that I feel like I'm up there flying solo now.

But, I realized I've got a formation of friendly fighters flying right off both my wings. My Father, Mother, Brother, and my room mate and best friend of 18 years and my few but true friends aside of him.

You're not alone, even though sometimes we want to believe we are. You've got friends and family up there flying form with you, and they'll turn and dogfight and boom and zoom with you no matter what. Those that fall out of the formation never were your friends to begin with.

Mom always told me, you'll have many acquaintances in life, but very few true friends. Hold on to the true friends.

Stay strong, buddy. There are others out there fighting this horrible battle with ya, even though you may not know it.
 
copied from a private note I sent.....hope you don't mind

hey group.... thank you so much for taking the time of writting that nice note. things have calmed a bit but alas.....our relationship as husband and wife is over. I have been able to at least nail down that an almost 95% chance that she has met someone, someone has been talking her up, or she has been eyeing someone up. too many things she says or has done don't make sense. She has made this out to be my fault and even today she went on a rant that this started from day 1 of our marriage...13 YEARS AGO!?!?!? WTF???? are you serious......why would ANYONE put themselves through 13 years of a ****ty marriage, I know I wouldn't. Personally...I think she's full of dung.

Don't get me wrong....I love this woman with all my heart and soul. I was true to my vows and planned to die with them in my heart. To be honest, she's more religous than I am and I asked for us to go talk to the paster and she said that nothing he could say was changing her mind. I offered counseling for us....NO! I am so worried for my son, and now she is giving me grief to not buy him so much, says I'm bribing him.....I love my son and if I can do it...he will have what he wants....period.

Today my son and I spent the entire day together and just now got home. I had alot of fun and even got together with the best man from my wedding......a great friend he is. He gave me some good words and talk and I'm thankful for people like him and everyone here. In the end, I must admit, I was pretty bummed inside that my wife was not with us. We all as a family did everything together 90% of the time. It hurts.


sorry for rambling.......
 
Wow.

Although you have said that the intent is to do this in a "clean" manner my gut is screaming lawyer at this point, and the sooner the better.
 
I havent made any comment here so far because I've never been married and feel i dont really have the right to post because i dont have any understanding. But i do understand pain, and losing everything that is precious to you in one unexpected moment.. but, I am here, for what little that may be worth. Youve been in my prayers, and will remain there..
Pam
 
warchild said:
I havent made any comment here so far because I've never been married and feel i dont really have the right to post because i dont have any understanding. But i do understand pain, and losing everything that is precious to you in one unexpected moment.. but, I am here, for what little that may be worth. Youve been in my prayers, and will remain there..
Pam
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thank you very much.....been doing alot of praying myself lately.
 
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