Well, you know....
....there never used to be be any real standards around here.
We'de go for a ride in that old corrigated trimotor, Iron Annie, and the pilot'd get all hinky with the controls. (Hey guys, watch this....!!%&*!!)
He'd throw it around, we'd float weightless for a moment, and somebody'd always cough up the cookies. We all thought it was all just big squirmie joke, business as usual.
Taildragger set down on the tarmac, somebody'd opened a hose just aft the flightdeck, and the gag would all run down to the tail and out the door held open with a bungie cord. Tail wheel would never fully pivot due to all the sticky stuff that washed down into it's support bearings.
Then we got this new generation of painters and interior designers to fit out these latest planes from Milton. Now it's all black tie and formal when you fly in these things. I'm certain there'll be a string quartet rattling off Mozart when the Avia does it's first official circuit over the town. We'll drop cup cakes and paper angels to the commoners has they look up and wave in wonder. They'll tell us how well our tuxedos go with the new upholstry, how clean shaven we all look, and how nice we smell.
I mean, it's not a bad thing. But there was something about a peeling paint Junkers with duct tape upholstry and air fresheners all over the place that made it easy to deal with passengers eating raw blubber between Inuvik and Dawson Creek. Or pulling a moon out the back door while you buzzed the Seargant's mess at Cold Lake.
Well...those days are gone.....
Now there's a passenger roster that lists members from the Montreal Ladies Morning Musical Club, The faculty department heads from The Chicago School of Fine Arts & Architecture, and some esteemed Diplomats from the local Embassy of the Czek Republic in Washington DCeeeee.....
I know it's a step up in the world, but jeeezzz. This bathing, shaving and deoderant stuff. Darning socks and renting a Captain's hat AND being pleasant to passengers. We're expected to be calm and fly level while the Flight Attendant serves refreshments and meals, and here's something new....a check list.
What the heck it THAT...?
I guess the good news is that we don't have to fly into the log-sort at Chicken, Alaska and handbomb fresh caught Salmon loose into the hold any more......
Final proviso....a memo found stapled to the hanger door...essentially it warns us about the distant unlikelyhood of finding a loose thread anywhere on the freshly loomed and hewn Avia interior upholstery......to resist our typical urge....and NOT PULL THE THREAD.
Instead....forward a memo upwards though the beaurocratic order of the upper management echelons....and poste-haste a smaller, faster Avia with a single Vee Twelve engine shall be dispatched to meet your flight at it's next arrival. The English gauged cockpit and Greek registration will ensure descriptively that you been met by the master arts and craft designer himself....and upon wacking the back of your hand with a small stick, shall immediately repair the new upholstry in the correct manner, thus maintaining our superior investment and appearance, therefore promoting better manners and higher standards throughout the aviation industry.
...Sigh....
...And whatsa checklist...again...?
just a word of advice.... strap yourself in... don't want a buddy being flung from side to side now do i? 
